In 20years.

We all have our aspirations. Perhaps fame is yours, perhaps it's wealth, or maybe even happiness.
However, the main theme throughout all of these things is success. To me, success maybe the key to happiness.
No matter how much we say that all we strive for is happiness, I believe that is merely a façade to create a better image for ourselves, in the same way that when looking for a perspective partner, we say that looks don't matter. They obviously do else you would have found someone that you had connected with already surely. Perhaps the is me being cynical but it seems to make sense.

In 20years when you go to say, a school reunion, how would you like to look to your current peers? Think hard about this. Now, most of us would say that it doesn't matter what they think about you, you don't care, their opinion has no influence on your life,it is obsolete, but how many of you really mean it?
Despite the front that many people I have known put out to people, including myself, this is never the real case. Most of the time, I really could not give a damn what people thought of me but sometimes the "I don't care" attitude catches up on us. We all want to be presented as a success. To have had the career you always dreamed about and talked about in school. Maybe because this will put to rest the image that you had when you were there, if this is the case does high school really define us to people forever?

It makes me wonder what I will be known as in the future. The girl that didn't have too many friends? The odd girl that everybody knew of but never really got to know? If this is the case, I feel the need to prove to people that the girl they all thought that they knew has become a success. A published writer for a fashion magazine, a girl known to the public or the fashion elite, a girl that has completely changed what her peers thought of her. I want recognition, not fame, there is a distinct difference.

Occasionally, when I muse on this, it makes me sad. sad that I feel the need to prove myself to people but then it's not really people I need to prove myself to, I need to prove to myself that I can do it, other people would only be a bonus. It makes you think doesn't it. The transition from "When I grow up I want to be a fireman" to "When I grow up, I want to succeed, I want to show them that they were wrong when they said I couldn't". It all begs the question, what do we want? Happiness? It depends what we classify it as. We could say what we think people want to hear (I don't care about money or success as long as I'm happy) or we could all tell the truth, scream that we just want to succeed, to strive, to have the approval of people. To be able to say "fuck you" to the ones that laughed at us, that scorned us, that judged us, to only answer to ourselves.

But then again, I don't really care what people think, do I?






Picture of the day:
Purely due to the fact that I found the photo and loved it.