The lord hates me.

If there was a day from hell, today would be just that. Despite my online calender, fliofax and countless other organisation techniques I managed to miss an exam. "How?!" I hear you cry, well I wrote down the incorrect time for the exam on each of them. Despite it saying it was at 1.30pm, it was actually at 9.00am. This makes the three weeks of revision and stress I just endured null and void.

I was unhappy to say the least. It has unsurprisingly left me in a melancholy mood and without the efforts of a certain best friend, today may have been a total bust (I applaud her). Is it bad that all I am now focusing on, to get me through the pain, is the fur coat, due to arrive at some point in the near future? Who ever said fashion was pointless was a swine, a fiend even.

I believe aquiring a new item of much loved clothing is good for the mind, body and soul. It not only makes you look good, it makes you feel great(even in your darkest hour). I say clothes are the extension of you, they help to show the world who you are. Although right now I would probably be wearing a victorian style shroud to cover my shame, maybe the coat will bring me a new happier persona. Possibly wishful thinking but nevermind.

That, and the boyfriend arriving on friday are what i'm desperately clinging onto.

Photo of the day:

Purely because I am in love with the work of a certain Mr. Mark Ryden.

Yours sincerely,
The secret goldfish

January.

It seems to be flying by so quickly! I have no idea where I am, what day it is and I have even given up trying to remember the date is (somewhere in the early 20ths?) January has signified stress and exams with hardly any time to do anything else, hence no blogging. Tired and stressed doesn't even cut it. My diet currently being nicotine and anything with caffeine in it, I did relish the chance to go to the best friends house and eat a whole pizza.
These were the results:


I have no idea how to multi-task like this. Having innate womanly skills for this is not helping I tell you. As is not being able to be with the person that helps me de-stress but hey-ho.
I will make a mental note to update this more often.
Peace Out.
The secret goldfish.

New year.

Happy New Year.

A new year. A new start.
2009 was fraught with ups' and downs'.
I made new friends, I lost some old ones and reconnected with others. I also gained some of the best I have ever had. Looking back on the year has made me reflect. I think I lost some part of me and gained another. Sadly I think that the loss of my first real relationship did that to me and it does get to me sometimes, that out of losing someone so special to me, I gained something else. A new found confidence? Possibly. A fresh start? Maybe. An awakening? I'm not sure. But one thing I do know is that I gained a person who has made me happier than I have ever been.
To some extent I wish that it could have happened earlier, or that things had been different, events could have happened differently. However, the end result would have always been the same. I'm pretty sure I would have always ended up with the person that dropped into my life out of nowhere.
I think that 2009 has been a good year, possibly the best. It has helped me to grow up and to realise if I want something I have to work for it, whether it be a friendship, a carreer or even a relationship. Perhaps i'm just being sentimental and thinking far too much into it at 02:05am but I think the early morning is the best time to think don't you.
So what have been my most memorable moments of 2009?
A few I can think of are: -Starting the year slumped over a toilet basin.
- The week we got free drinks in Vodka Revolution and spent the entire week buzzing on caffine.
- Justine's 18th birthday where my first conversations with current friends began with "I like The Smiths, i'm sorry for hijacking your conversation...I will be quiet now."
- The first time we did Johnny's to Echos, falling out of his front door and so badly scraping my knees I still have the scars.
- "If we had children, they would be really tall." (I'm now with the guy so something must have worked)
- Going to a prom that wasn't even mine, staying at someones house and then going to college at 9 in the morning.
- The 'headbutt' first kiss.
- Getting a free hair cut in Camden and having half of it shaved off.
- Playing manhunt on lodge farm after a bbq.
- The two weeks spent at home by myself.
- Being taken everywhere in 'The Green Machine'.
- Summer Sundae festival.
- "I think...I like...love you"
- "Let's go out for a few drinks" then stumbling home with Khloe at 4 in the morning.
- New years eve.
And so so much more.

I have the best 'best friend' in the world, a guy who makes me happier then ever and a new lease of life to change things. I'm going to miss 2009 but with the people I have got now, this year could be shaping up to top the last one. Bring 2010 on, I think I can handle it.