Bieber Fever?

So Justin Bieber.
One 'Urban Dictionary' goer's definition of him is:

2. Justin Bieber 1877 up, 872 down
buy justin bieber mugs, tshirts and magnets
The reason why I don't listen to modern day music.

1. He hasn't hit puberty.
2. He's 15 year old that sings about love. (How fucking original.)
3. He is only loved for his looks.
4. His fans are teenage girls who finger themselves to the image of him (I can guarantee you there are girls that do it.)
5. His teenage fans have NO idea on what real dinging talent is. They hear whatever is on the radio, (Obviously Justin) And then think that's the 'cool' new thing that everyone needs, until there's another teenage faggot released with more of the same shit.
6. He's the one getting signed for reason 3., when there are 1,000,000 people out there that are average looking, and 10 times more talented, but they aren't getting a fucking chance.
7. Terrible lyrics. Absolutely no meaning other than "Ooh baby, I love you, ooh, you're my one and only love". Shit.
Jb fan: OMG did you hear the new Justin Bieber song?? He is so HAWT and talented!!

Me: The kid has pretty much no talent. Having looks doesn't mean you're good at making music. *Puts on headphones and blares Free Bird and Stairway to Heaven*


This seemed the most comprehensive post; it combines what most others say into one easy list.
Personally, I have no real 'beef' with Justin(although he is apparently bad at 'dinging', what is dinging?!). He can carry on making his insanely catchy pop songs and I will continue to keep them on repeat because they have become stuck in my head (I do am however constantly judged by my boyfriend and best friend so I may blame him for that.)
The two things about J.B that really do get on my proverbial goat are
1. His insistence that these women are 'The One'. How can he find the one?! I know 30year olds that still haven't found 'The One'. If he really has found this person as many times as it appears he has, I feel as though there is an injustice here (Perhaps he's gods son? Jesus FTL).
2. How old are the women that he is dating? I've heard of aspirational crushes but seriously J-love, if these women are living with their boyfriends(who are obviously crap compared to you), they are surely too old for you.



I admire you high aspirations JB but seriously, that girl is not 15

Daily Irritation.

So, im meant to have been working on school work over the past week but I have no motivation. I thought to get the writing juices flowing I should write another much over due blog.
There is still no sign of the shirt I mentioned in my last post but I there will be updates when it does finally decide to appear.

So yesterday an irritation that I had long forgotten resurfaced to assault my senses. The irritation in question was non other than the 'Holiday Video Menace'. I hate them. I truly do HATE them. For one thing, I cannot afford to go on holiday abroad, so by showing me you are undoubtedly making me as jealous as Perez Hilton is of real celebrities or Tyra Banks' obvious jealousy and resentment for the younger model counterparts that she is 'training'.
2. Why would I want to watch you walk around on holiday. I could just watch Jersey Shore if I wanted to watch a first person documentary of events and at least then I can laugh at the fact they look like oranges that have been involved in an unfortunate genetic mutation experiment gone awry.



Don't be fooled, the awkward positions and look of surprise are due to the sticks that are being placed in strategic places. Middle on the left looks like she's quite enjoying it.


3. I will never find something as funny as you did when watching it. no the tour guide's joke about his wife is not funny, it may have been at the time but as the saying goes: 'You had to be there' (FYI: I hate that expression; if I 'had' to be there and wasn't then don't talk about it in front of me. I WILL NOT GET THE JOKE)
This just brings me straight back to the jealousy point of number 1.

So ladies and gents that is why I loath holiday videos. Keep them to yourselves.
Peace Out.
The Secret Goldfish.

Ebayers Anonymous.

If there is such a place, I think I should join. I imagine it being like the AA but everyone would be better dressed in others hand-me-downs. Yes ladies and Gents, I am officially addicted to the "World's Largest Online Marketplace". Although, I have just bought a fantastic shirt: 80's, New Romantic Era.
It's huge so im hoping it will make me look like this:


Mary Kate Olsen, you make anorexia look good you bint.

Therein, making me look waif like under a huge amount of material. Like I am hiding several rib bones and a few organs under there. Alas, it will probably make me look like im trying to hide an unwanted pregnancy.
Updates to come.

The weekend of the snood.

The title kind of sounds like children's book doesn't it? In my head, I am envisioning a small girl having a secret pet, almost like a dog mixed with a puddle of milk(The snood). I'm going to copyright that.
It has come to my attention that I have nothing interesting to talk you about. Other than the silly spending spree I had in Topshop, the night of unwanted molestation I had yesterday in a local club and helping my best friends boyfriend purchase a 'snood' for the best friend in question; I have done nothing of merit to speak to you about.
How sad is it that the highlight of my day was helping pick out a strangely named knitwear product?
Nonetheless, I am here to ramble to you all regardless(taking it into account that people read this-*cue nervous twitch*).
The recent suicide of Alexander Mcqueen hit me hard, as i'm sure it did many of you, for three main reasons:
1. I do not, nor have I ever had, the bank account to fund the purchase of any of his clothing items(obviously I can therefore not mourn properly).
2. If I ever want to purchase any of said clothing items, the price will be 10times inflated(A tragic state of events indeed).
3. Britain have lost one of it's fashion institutions.
On hearing this news, I spent the evening wrapped in a blanket of solitude, eating rice crispie squares(those of you in Britain, nip to your local sainsburys store and purchase some. It will be worth it.) and trying to gain my fashion hit by watching repeats of Gossip Girl and Material Girl. Yes, I hear what you are thinking, sad? I know but it needed to be done to fully move on with my grief.

Therefore my picture of the day comes is a tribute to the great work of a fantastic designer:
:
The most fabulous headpiece I have ever seen.

Yours sincerely,
The secret goldfish.

Lack-lustre week.

The years first bout of illness has now set in. I knew it would be inevitable but I just was not prepared for my first viral attack on my throat and immune system. Oh dear me, how I long to be able to eat without it hurting.

My life has become a rigorous schedual of falling in and out of conciousness, endless repeats of Gossip Girl playing on my computer and plenty of fluids, not even the fun kind (I'm sorry but I did just had to lower the tone). There are times when all you want is a cuddle. Unfortunately, I can't get one from the person I want one from (the swine). I have to live with that though ladies and gentleman.

I'm now going to go and compulsively buy shoes, tights, leggings and any other fabric based, clothing style objects I can with my limited budget. Who needs money anyway?

Photo of the day:
Purely because glancing back through an old photo album I found this gem.
I miss my pink hair.
Yours sincerely,
The secret goldfish.

The lord hates me.

If there was a day from hell, today would be just that. Despite my online calender, fliofax and countless other organisation techniques I managed to miss an exam. "How?!" I hear you cry, well I wrote down the incorrect time for the exam on each of them. Despite it saying it was at 1.30pm, it was actually at 9.00am. This makes the three weeks of revision and stress I just endured null and void.

I was unhappy to say the least. It has unsurprisingly left me in a melancholy mood and without the efforts of a certain best friend, today may have been a total bust (I applaud her). Is it bad that all I am now focusing on, to get me through the pain, is the fur coat, due to arrive at some point in the near future? Who ever said fashion was pointless was a swine, a fiend even.

I believe aquiring a new item of much loved clothing is good for the mind, body and soul. It not only makes you look good, it makes you feel great(even in your darkest hour). I say clothes are the extension of you, they help to show the world who you are. Although right now I would probably be wearing a victorian style shroud to cover my shame, maybe the coat will bring me a new happier persona. Possibly wishful thinking but nevermind.

That, and the boyfriend arriving on friday are what i'm desperately clinging onto.

Photo of the day:

Purely because I am in love with the work of a certain Mr. Mark Ryden.

Yours sincerely,
The secret goldfish

January.

It seems to be flying by so quickly! I have no idea where I am, what day it is and I have even given up trying to remember the date is (somewhere in the early 20ths?) January has signified stress and exams with hardly any time to do anything else, hence no blogging. Tired and stressed doesn't even cut it. My diet currently being nicotine and anything with caffeine in it, I did relish the chance to go to the best friends house and eat a whole pizza.
These were the results:


I have no idea how to multi-task like this. Having innate womanly skills for this is not helping I tell you. As is not being able to be with the person that helps me de-stress but hey-ho.
I will make a mental note to update this more often.
Peace Out.
The secret goldfish.